Let’s have a little chat about mom guilt.
Because my whole life right now is being a mom, I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means to be a mom, what it means to be a mom of little kids especially, what type of mom I am/want to be, how I can be a better mom, etc. And one of the thoughts that is always there in the background, gnawing at me, that I can never seem to escape, is the mom guilt. The worry that I’m too soft or too strict, that I’m not doing enough ________, that I do too much of ________, that I should be better at _________. That I’m just not good enough, and my children will be ill-equipped adults because of my deficiencies. You know how it is. (Or maybe you don’t?! In which case I sort of hate and love you at the same time. And how do you do it?!)
Some days the guilt and fear can be crippling. When I notice that Wyatt has a bloody cut and I have no idea where it came from, when I loose my temper with Porter for the second or third time that day and I have only myself to blame, when I feel like we’ve been busy all day but I have nothing to show for it and my house is a mess, when we have to order pizza for dinner because I didn’t do the grocery shopping, when I don’t even want to admit how many episodes of Paw Patrol we went through today, or when we’re late to everything and I forgot my debit card and wore two different shoes and didn’t pack enough extra diapers. Or when I feel overwhelmed at the weight of having to teach two sweet little boys how to be happy, healthy, faithful, and productive members of society when I’m not sure I even have it figured out. Some days the weight just becomes too much, and I’m afraid I’ll never get it right. Then the mom guilt swoops in and makes me feel like I’m lacking, like I’m not good enough, like I’m always coming up short and will never get ahead. Mom guilt makes me feel like I’m not good enough for our children.
One of the things I’m trying to do to combat my mom guilt is a super cheesy positive affirmation. I’ve even posted it on my mirror so I can see it every morning and evening, every time I escape to the bathroom for some coveted alone time. And it helps. It centers me and brings me back from the guilt.
I am not defined by my faults. I am so much more.
Life is not a bad day or a bad moment, its the accumulation of all our days, moments, and memories. Life is made up of the family dinners, the stories before bed, the tickle wars and bike rides, the camping trips in the mountains. Sure, there are also the bad times in there too, the hurts and the failures. But they do not define our life any more than a bad day defines our character.We are more than a bad day. I told you it was cheesy. But for me, for right now, it works. Its just what I need to remember when I’m feeling overwhelmed by the guilt.
What do you do to combat the mom guilt?